| cuihua 的个人资料All about communication照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
|
10月12日 Sleep deprivation...and moreOkay, I know the title sounds scary. This is not something you would normally expect from a 20-something person. But what about a graduate student? or a professor? ....hmm, maybe.
Last week's organizational behavior seminar, T and I were exchanging our complaints about how hard we worked and how little we slept right before this class. T slept at 2 am and me even at 4 am -- because I needed to make up for a conference leave -- and got up like 8 am that morning. The same thing just happened every week.
Prof. K talked about his early career as someone who strived for tenure (sounds familiar?). And among the list of "I-worked-very-very-hard" symptoms, he pointed out that the worst thing is not sleeping less than you want, but not being able to sleep even if you got the time...He recalled how he could wake up very early because of anxiety....anxiety about research projects, papers, courses...etc. The sad fact is, I experieneced that too recently. When I thought I was just getting used to sleeping 6 hours a day and wake up at 8am, the truth is I couldn't sleep as much because I felt very anxious....about school, research, and other things that plagued me. And, it is, as T pointed out, a true sign of depression.
Well, if the above is not scary enough, Prof. R and me had a corridor conversation this Monday. She told me that it will never end...and in fact, will get worse and worse as time goes by. However, this job is still considered a good one, if compared with people struggling in the corporate world. We have freedom, flexibility, and sense of self-actualization, although the workload is insane. What should be learnt for academics (especially women) is to cope with the anxiety and try to have a life despite all the pressure. And from time to time, we should know we cannot have everything as perfect as we want. There are times when it is better to compromise, to give up, to recognize that we are not superman...
Despite all this, I still love my school and the work I am doing. I just hope all the bad things can disappear, and the darkest moments will never come back. And I hope I don't have to wake up due to anxiety (hope the reason of that anxiety can disppear, actually). And I hope I can get more time to sleep. And I want more hugs from friends ........... :) 评论 (6)
引用通告此日志的引用通告 URL 是： http://piggie1981.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!54FD783DD0F4B2B1!485.trak 引用此项的网络日志
|
|
|
